Friday, April 15, 2011

I miss my husband. I miss him a LOT.

He was just here for an hour or so, and had to leave to go to work. His visit seemed to last three seconds. But, while he was here, he got to meet one of my doctors, watch Ellie kick the daylights out of my innards, and listen to her on the monitor. He gave me a back rub, and we snuggled. Ah, I wish I could go home.

While he was here, the doctor said, for the millionth time (but the first time he's heard it) "If you can go 48 hours with no bleeding, we can send you home". After she left, he asked me if that meant home home. It doesn't. It means going back to my parents, back into the home-care program for visits three times a week, and twice weekly nsts in hospital. Same as before. The only problem with that, is my parents are moving this coming week, and everything is going to be in limbo during that time. Also, they told me the 48 hour thing when I got here in the beginning. Fifteen days and the longest I've gone is 18 hours. The end of that time marked by the biggest bleed I've had since I got here. Another big bleed would land me back in hospital, probably back downstairs, back to the bottom of the pile. Once your bed is gone, you have to start over again, and I'd probably be in a double room again, which I could NOT handle.

I wish I'd spent more time outside today. It looked so nice out, but it was cold this morning, and now it's cloudy. I wish the window in my room opened. It's weird that none of them do, not even a little bit. The window is really dirty, too, which is aggravating. I really like clean windows.

It's amazing how quiet this room is. When the door is shut, all you hear is the low mumble of people's voices. It's nice to be able to block it out. Sure, there are times where I feel more social, and I keep it open, but for the most part, I'm enjoying the peace and the quiet.

:)