Saturday, April 9, 2011

Last night, Kim came to visit after work, and brought me a 12 pack of Via Instant coffee from Starbucks. I am beyond excited at the prospect of having GOOD coffee every day, as opposed to the muddy tap-water they try to pass off as coffee, here on the ward.

I was up late, again, reading. This time it must have been close to 2am, and no one even poked their head through the curtains to see if I might consider calling it a night. I'm glad they didn't! I have one nurse, goodness, I can't even remember her name. In any case, she is such the mother hen. She clucks around, tidying my things (although there's little left to tidy, after a crazy nesting experience yesterday... in a hospital, to boot!), and the other night even threw another blanket over me in the wee hours of the morning, because she noticed it was cold in the room. She would most definitely have told me to put the book down, and go to sleep.

I woke up just before 8, this morning. I had a good sleep. Although it probably wasn't as long as it should have been, I feel well rested. My roommate is busy preparing herself to be discharged. I am not sure when she's leaving, exactly, but it is today, and I am not sad about it.

I talked to Jason for a really long time this morning. I forgot how funny he is, he had me laughing for a good five minutes straight, which felt lovely. We talked about Ellie's name and my mother conundrum. We decided to do the right thing, and stop the stress. I know Ellie is our baby, and we are absolutely entitled to name her anything we like. But, it was so straightforward with Jakob, that it only makes sense to do the same thing this time around. Her name isn't going to be Ellie Kimaria, it is going to be Ellie Marianna Kimberly M. I actually really love the way Ellie Marianna sounds.

I started a new book this morning, somewhere in the middle, because it was a little slow going. Mom brought Jakob, and his beautiful little cherub face lightened up my world. He flirted shamelessly with the nurses, and snuggled me and told me "I love you, I love you, I love you" over and over. He is, quite simply, amazing. Mom has been so emotional through all of this, and I told her today that I couldn't handle the drama. I told her about our new name choice, and it took a while for the news to sink in, but I got my normal Mommy back. No more tension, no more drama. I can see how much it means, and only wish we'd gone that way before. When they left, he said his "Bye bye, Mommy, I love you", and then ran to the nurses to announce his impending departure "I am leaving soon, Nurses!". One of them is smitten with him, and asked for a hug. Obviously, he indulged her. She joked that he should meet the little girl that visits room #1. She's adorable, he'd probably love her, but he much prefers the older ladies. The ones who smile at him, when they don't smile at anyone else. I honestly think he was put on the Earth to make people happy.

Jakob is now enroute to Ladner, with my mom, to go see Jason for all of twenty minutes. Jason's working the 2-12am shift, and because he's been staying at home, he doesn't see either of us during these four days on. Kim will take over after their visit, and she'll watch Jakob overnight, and bring him by tomorrow some time for a visit.

I am currently missing the recreational therapy group session, that part of me wishes I were at. It's two doors down, but it started a while ago, and I don't like starting mid-way through. I'm happy to sit here waiting for lunch :)

I am 100% convinced that Ellie moved back to breech. I felt her not-so subtle journey last night around 11pm. Sigh... she can always go back down.

I felt a lot calmer when I knew she was presenting cephalic. I wasn't so worried about my water breaking, and having a prolapsed cord. When she's footling breech, there's nothing to plug the hole when my water breaks, and if it happens in a big gush, and not a trickle, there's something like a 1 in 5 chance the cord would prolapse, which would be terrifying.

There's nothing I can do now but talk her into turning back down. It's astounding she still has the room to move so freely! I have a feeling she's going to move a few more times before she's born.

The doctor today is everything you wouldn't expect in an MFM. He is a he, and he is big, burly and smells. I was exceedingly uncomfortable when he came in to ask me about my bleeding and cramping. You know, I think birthing is one of those things that is truly a female domain. I don't trust midwives who haven't birthed themselves. There is something so taboo about discussing female body function with a man. The modest part of me wanted to tell him I hadn't had any bleeding. Instead, I had to describe quantity, consistency, color, smell, ugh, everything I didn't want to tell him!Don't get me wrong, he is probably very good at what he does, but I'm thankful that 99% of the doctors I've met during this journey, and all of my nurses, have been female.

I'm enjoying my Starbucks coffee, immensely. And cannot wait for my neighbor to finish lunch, and get on with getting out. I want to open the curtains, I want to look outside, I want to shower without having to ask permission, and I would like a few hours of no one listening beside me. She's already got her discharge papers. If it were me, I'd already be gone!