Saturday, April 28, 2012

The past two days have been so lovely. DH was given a very rare day off, in the middle of the work week, so we made the most of our day yesterday. We cleaned our house, and took the kids to the park. I can't believe it, but it was Ellie's first ever time actually playing on the playground. She was so happy.

"Put your hands up, and go 'Wheeeeee', Mommy!!!"

First time in the swing. Bliss.

Little Daredevil

Slide + Wooly Coat = Crazy hair!

Had to go again!

Trying out the Teeter-cycle

Fly Baby

Today, we had our kitchen counter tops replaced. I am in love. Seriously, I wish we'd done this three years ago, when we moved in, and not just as we're planning to leave, but I'm so, so happy with them. DH's uncle made and installed them for us, and did the most wonderful job.

Today, we had our kitchen counter tops replaced. I am in love. Seriously, I wish we'd done this three years ago, when we moved in, and not just as we're planning to leave, but I'm so, so happy with them. DH's uncle made and installed them for us, and did the most wonderful job.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Taking time away from the internet has helped a lot with my mental well-being. I think I'm going to continue with my posting from a distance, for a while, since it seems to be working for me, and by the looks of things, the interest in my blog has died back down to normal. I can handle that.

Ellie's birthday was yesterday. I can't believe it's been a whole year. We had a lovely, relaxed day. I made cakes and cupcakes, and mmmmmmm-good vanilla buttercream frosting. My MIL brought over some rainbow fruit skewers. My mom, my brother, the inlaws, and DH's grandpa came, as well as my two besties, Ellie's godmothers.

Ellie's Cupcake

Our tiny spread :)

Rainbow Fruit Skewers

Gluten-Free Rainbow Cupcakes

Regular Raibow Cupcakes

The cake I didn't intend to make

Little Lady and her presents

One Cupcake - Devoured

Ellie was very spoiled. And, we had a great day!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

First Birthday photos

This is truly amazing.

Ellie was the size of Baby Doll when she was born

Finally able to support herself using her arms AND hold up her head!

Little to a little bit bigger :)

She's definitely growing!

One Year

One year ago, was one of the scariest days of my life. I was so scared that Ellie wouldn't make it through delivery. But, she did, strong as ever, and so began the most inspiring year of my life.

Ellie is everything. Funny, smart, strong, loving, adorable. She's shown us so much about ourselves, can bring out love in everyone who meets her. She is truly our miracle.

I am grateful every single day for the blessing of having her with us.

Happy Birthday my Ellie.

(lots of pictures to follow!)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

The moment I click into this website, my chest constricts. I don't know how it happened, I hate it. I miss what this was. Incidentally, I've already filled sixty pages in my pretty new journal, and my hand no longer cramps when I am writing.

I came on here to record that Ellie, finally, finally rolled all the way over. She's been able to roll from tummy to back for ages, but she hates hated tummy time, and refused to roll onto her belly. On Monday, Ellie did it. She rolled, and kept rolling, until she was seven feet from where she started, and I was jumping up and down, clapping like an excited three year old, tears streaming down my face. I can't tell you how amazing it was to see her do it. To see her smiling, with complete pride. That's my girl!

We may not need the standing frame anymore. I've ramped up our daily physio time, and she's spent a lot of time on her feet, holding on the the couches. She is solid. She learns so quickly. I thank God everyday for growth hormone therapy. I'm sure it's made a huge difference.

As for growth, we measured and weighed her tomorrow. Her birthday measurements, since I won't go in on Sunday. She weighs 5.95kg, or 13lbs3oz, and she is 61cm, or 24". She is still growing a centimeter every two weeks, right on target, perfectly on schedule.  In the past year, she has gained 4576 grams or 10lbs3oz, and grown 21.5cm, or 8.5".

I'm working with my good friend Kathy, of Veil, on a short video segment about Ellie's journey, about our experience with PWS, and to raise awareness of PWS and the One Small Step walk in August!

I need to make room on my camera to take some photos. Ellie's hair is long enough for tiny pigtails. They make my heart explode with their cuteness.

Saturday, April 14, 2012

I'm taking a break, to write, with pen and paper.

I have come face to face with a part of the internet that makes me very uncomfortable. I think it will take a while before I can easily write here again. I promise to post if anything happens that's important, but it will likely be quiet here, for a few weeks.

Love you all.

Haters gonna hate.

Commenting on my blog has now been suspended. I don't feel like reading comments that are less than pleasant. So now you just can't comment.

Have a nice day.

Friday, April 13, 2012

I haven't quite been feeling myself over the past few days. I've been really busy with the kids, and DH has been working, a lot of night shifts, which leaves me to do everything. Housework, kid work, groceries, you name it, I do it. I have a hard time staying up until the nurse gets here at 11pm, it's not easy falling asleep once she does get here, and it's almost impossible to get up in the morning. I don't know where the time goes, but somehow I'm lacking in the sleep department.

I've never dealt with anxiety before, I've always been a very calm person, but recently, or I guess since Ellie came home from the latest hospital stay, I've been on edge. Her emergency shook me to my core. I am so scared it could/will happen again. Dr. Dee said, before we went home, that I was really lucky it wasn't worse, that I was right there when it happened. What if I hadn't been there?

I've been having nightmares, that's normal. What isn't normal, is a near constant dizziness, accompanied by waves of nausea. I'm fine, until I eat, or I start thinking about Ellie and what happened, and then I just feel sick. It's been difficult eating enough to maintain my weight, and weight loss is most definitely not what I am going for these days. I also get a strange constricting feeling in my chest. The more I think about it, the worse it gets, which leads me to believe it is psychological. Blah... I thought I was done with therapy.

DH starts his vacation tomorrow, so I have a couple weeks to hopefully get back to myself. I haven't even felt like writing, which sucks because it's my favourite outlet. Hoping that after a couple nights of decent sleep, I'll be back at it, and can let you know about all the exciting things we did this week, like going to the farm!

:) Happy Friday!

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

On Playing Fair

Over the course of the past few days, Ellie participated in a photo contest, run by a local event business, to win a Canucks jersey. We're Canucks fans around here, and Ellie's watched more games than I have in the span of the past year. It was not unheard of to have a television placed at the end of her crib at game time, while she was in the hospital.

Our friends rallied behind us, and their friends, and their friends' friends, to the point where we had almost 700 votes. This morning, we started the day neck and neck, with only one vote between Ellie and her main competition, a very cute little girl, with a big, bright smile. 400 votes ahead of the rest of the competition, it seemed the day would go by in a close race. I never voted for Ellie, I did however vote for all her competitors, all decked out and supporting their team.

Sometime in the afternoon, for whatever reason, Ellie started pulling ahead. Around then, someone started using the main comment section of the contest, to cheer on the competitor. One of my friends posted something along the lines of " Ellie! If you knew how strong this little girl is, and what she's been through, you would vote for her and her family". The mother of the competition posted, what I took as a hurtful comment: "I was under the impression that this contest was about Canucks Team Spirit, and which baby shows the most Canucks team pride, is it not? I didn't realize it had to do with the strength of a particular baby or family". I mean, never did I post to my friends "Vote for us, because of everything we've been through", or "Vote for us because Ellie's tough". I made no mention of any of our struggles, I just posted a cute picture of my baby girl, into a contest so she could win a jersey, and not steal J's!

A nasty lady, I assume was associated with the competition began a very hurtful stream of comments, suggesting that it was an unfair competition, that it clearly wasn't a competition, and suggesting that the competition withdraw from the contest in protest! At that point, she had over 560 votes, although we were leading by 100 votes. With six hours remaining, the game clearly wasn't over, and I don't think it would have been impossible for them to catch up. A bunch of my friends, and even some strangers protested her comments. My last comment was along the lines of "there are still 6 hours left, we haven't won yet, get your votes in. If the Canucks quit in the middle of the game, they'd lose". Eventually her comments, and the comment of the mother were deleted. Shortly thereafter, the contest was shut down, and the organizer announced that both Ellie and her competition would be winning jerseys.

That made me very upset. 

We don't *need* a jersey. We need a lot more important things than a jersey, like a cure for PWS! We can cheer on our Canucks just as loudly without a jersey as with one. It doesn't change how much we love our city, how much we love out friends. I believe in teaching my children how to play fairly, by the rules, with integrity, respect, and good sportsmanship. Rewarding someone for their awful behaviour, especially when that behaviour is aimed at a special needs child, is brutal! 

Edited to add:
I spoke with the organizer yesterday. She was at a family function, and didn't see any of the comments. She always intended to reward two jerseys, and some additional incentives to draw attention to their fundraising event (admission is by donation to Canuck Place). If the contest hadn't turned ugly, everyone would have left a winner. It really is too bad that everyone couldn't have acted like grown up, polite adults.

Edited again to add: the mother of the other contestant asked that her jersey be given to another contestant.  While not the same as an apology, it shows they care, I guess. Or, the mother cares. I don't know about that other lady. And to Isabella, whoever you are, the appearance and disappearance of the link to my blog had nothing to do with this drama, and everything to do with drama related to my "Argh" post.

I've decided to accept the jersey, since Ellie won, fair and square. So, to make up to the Canucks for the lame-o attitudes exhibited tonight, I'm donating $50, the cost of the jersey, to their Canucks for Kids Fund.

Love them

There's nothing I love more in the whole wide world, than having my kids together, at home, playing with each other! They're so happy, I hope they grow to be best friends.

J is the best big brother, he's so protective of her, and loves her so much.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012


Ellie had her first at home physio appointment since October, this morning. Our pt was blown away by how far she's come (she was so, so hypotonic in October), but said she has a tremendous amount of work ahead of her. So, we are gearing up for that. At our next appointment, if he can make it work, she will be fitted with a standing frame, to help her to learn to properly bear weight on her feet. Presently, she favours standing on her toes. It's crazy looking!

He gave me some core strength exercises, and "fall-catch" exercises to train her to put her arms our if she's toppling. He also pointed out we could take the pillows off the couch to give her the right height support for cruising. I don't know why I didn't think of it, she loved it! She loves him in general. I think it's the accent. She loves people with accents.

We're starting once a week physio appointments with him, and will continue to work with Ellie daily ourselves.

Today was the first day that I've taken her to do J's preschool run. The parents there were so excited to see her, as were the teachers. She's been in such a phenomenal mood, babbling, shrieking, giggling, kicking herself in circles. She's hilarious.

J is playing with his alphabets, trying to find all the letters to match the box of his Thomas & Friends puzzle. He's making a mess, but my floors need to be swept anyway, so I'll get that done when he's tired of playing. Ellie is happy to be playing with her toys, having just finished her lunch. We have to wait an hour after every meal to put her on bipap, so that's thrown a wrench into our schedule. Ellie loves her schedule, and it's interesting trying to change it on her.

Ah, the things we do.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Time with J

Since Ellie came home, the little man in my life has had his one-on-one time reduced by at least half. He's being an incredibly good sport about having to play on his own, about having to wait until the baby is done feeding, changing, whatever it happens to be.

Today, this evening rather, we decided to put Ellie in her bouncy seat, with a new crinkly toy, so that he and I could do a project. You remember Rainbow Rice, don't you? Well, J is really into letters these days (ABC's, not pen pal style), so I decided to give a go at dyeing Alphabet pasta.

I didn't take any photos, because I couldn't find the camera in time, and J wanted my full attention. We used one box of pasta, and decided to use six colours (pink, red, yellow, green, blue and lavender). I got out six short glasses, into which I placed six medium Ziploc bags. Into each bag, J measured a quarter cup vinegar, and some food colouring. We didn`t measure that, but if I had to guess, it was between 10-20 drops per colour. Then, he measured a half cup (ish) of the pasta, into each bag, and we zipped them up, and shook them.

I noticed the pasta starting to clump together, but they broke apart easily enough. After letting them sit for maybe five minutes, I poured colour by colour (rinsing out in between) into a colander, then transferred to a cookie sheet. I fit all the pasta onto one sheet, but I probably should have used two.

They`re currently drying in my oven, on its lowest setting, and every few minutes I stir them up. I can already tell, the lavender is a failure, the colour is blah. The others look great. White rice definitely absorbs the colour more readily, and the end result is more vibrant. But, rice isn't as fun as letters are!

Saturday, April 7, 2012


Today was magical, and I didn't take a single photo. Today was one of those days where a photograph wouldn't have done the me prices justice. DH and I agree, it was the best day we've ever had as a family of four.
This morning, I got up with Ellie. She fed at 7:30am, and just as she was finishing up, J woke up and came to snuggle. The three of us lay on the couch, under a blanket, pretending to be camping. DH joined us shortly after, and we had a relaxing breakfast. We took turns getting ready, dressing up the kids in their Easter outfits and showing Ellie around the house.
We put some furniture into storage, along with boxes, and I did a happy dance at having space on our landing again.
Then, we headed to the IL's, to spend the afternoon outside.
J played with his cousins, while Ellie explored the grass, saw a cat and a dog for the first time, sat in a tree, and watched bubbles float around the yard, and up into the sky.
When I say I didn't take photos, I mean I am so glad I was present in the moment to hear the glee in Ellie's squeals, as I ran with her around the garden, chasing her brother. None of us had ever heard her laugh so much, or marvel at so many things. She napped, on my lap, attached to her bipap, and it was DOABLE!! She played with her cousin, made everyone laugh, and excitedly watched hockey. She ate dinner, no fuss. I had so much fun Easter egg hunting, playing trains, make believe and castle wars outside.
As we left for home, the stars sparkled in the night sky, both kids went easily to sleep, and we are left feeling fully blessed.

Friday, April 6, 2012


If there's anything mothers of children with PWS agree upon, it's that we all hate PWS. It's not just the food seeking, which is awful, gut-wrenching, and scary (empty boxes of cookies found in a closet, empty peanut shells in a house with no peanuts, eating non-food items like tin foil, food colouring, and dirt). It's also the surgeries and braces for scoliosis, surgeries and glasses for vision problems, braces to keep hips in check, orthotics to keep ankles in line, helmets to adjust skull shape. It's growth hormone deficiency, and every day injections. It's medications for reflux, for constipation. It's positioning devices and standing frames (which apparently Ellie is getting fitted for at our next pt session). It's silent pneumonia, undetected respiratory infections, oxygen saturation and breathing issues. It's on going poor muscle tone, balance issues, motor developmental delays. Speech delays, learning delays, growth issues. It's seemingly endless appointments with therapists, doctors, respirologists.

PWS is so very many things, it is overwhelming.

Someone said that we're lucky, that we've had an easy road so far. Part of me, the optimistic part, says "We sure are!! Look at everything Ellie can do!", and then the realistic part of me says "hold the phone... lucky?" Lucky to have had serious breathing issues, months of lack of oxygen, serious growth restriction, substantial developmental delays, months and months of living in hospitals? Is that really lucky? Sure, Ellie is healthy, ish. She's not allowed around other kids, her brother can't have play dates. We can't eat around her, otherwise she cries and cries. She has progressed so far in just a few months, but she's still far behind.

We are lucky that we have a diagnosis, because we can go forward knowing what might come. Then again, we live in fear of what might come, and who knows, those fears might never materialize. We know that she is already hungry. She wants food all.the.time. She has eagle eyes, and can spot a snack across the road. She fixates. She's still a baby. She can't verbalize. She doesn't have to say a thing to get her point across. At least we`re not waiting for the hunger to start, we don`t have a honeymoon phase, we don`t get to experience some time of "normal". That sucks, but we try to find the positives.

I dutifully measure out all her (four) bottles, every morning, making sure not to put even a smidgen more powder into a bottle than she is "allowed".  I pre-measure her one solid meal of the day, hoping that she will like it, hoping that the textures won't freak her out to the point of my having to make something else. Making something else is the worst, because she can see there is more food. She's a smart one, this little monkey.

Someone mentioned that something like 70% of people with PWS are walking around undiagnosed. I sometimes wish that were the case for us, because those cases are likely milder than the people who receive their diagnoses early. Maybe not always, but maybe. Another PWS mama pointed out that there are 10 subtypes of PWS. That explains why some kids resemble each other, and not others, it's very interesting, actually.

There's one thing I am sure of, positive of, and no one can tell me otherwise, is that Ellie will never get fat. I refuse to accept it as a possibility.

I wrote a post, and deleted it, because of negative feedback. I've decided, this is my blog. I write because it's my therapy, I am fully entitled to my opinion within the space of these posts. If you don't like what I write, all you have to do is click Ctrl+x. That part is easy. Word of warning, you might not like what I have to say in the following paragraphs.

I know Ellie won't get fat, because I won't let her. She might get a wee bit chubby, but she will never enter into the range of "obesity". It's not going to happen. I can control a lot, I can control what comes into our house, for instance. I have a personal issue with junk food, I love it. I love it so much that I have no self-control whatsoever when it comes to eating it. None. I have to have it. So, I just don't buy it. We have no junk in our house, no processed foods, no candy, chocolate, ice cream, cookies, chips, Cheetos, granola bars. Our house is pretty boring when it comes to snacks, fruit, veggies, plain with no dip. We don't snack, though. DH and I eat three square meals a day. J might get a snack at preschool, and in the afternoon. Right now he is eating a small bowl of frozen blueberries. Food isn't a big deal. We don't bribe with food, we don't reward with food. We don't have cable, so we aren't subjected to food commercials. We eat because we have to, because it nourishes us. Not because we're bored, because we have cravings, or because it's pleasurable. No fuss, no muss, if J doesn't like it, too bad. You get what you get, and we rarely, RARELY do seconds. That's how I was raised, and that's how I'm raising my children.

DH comes from a family of overweight people. For some reason, growing up, I didn't know anyone who was really overweight. It was odd for me to meet a whole family of people with weight problems, and to be heckled for being thin. I see the struggle, the health problems, the tiredness they face. I've heard the excuses. There are always excuses. DH, before I met him, spent five years losing 100lbs, through healthy eating, and exercise. He's been able to maintain his weight in the seven years we've been together. It's safe to say, we hold each other accountable for our weight, and for the weight of our children. No excuses, not in our house.

Ellie has PWS, she is always hungry. She is metabolically unable to take in as many calories as a genetically normal baby. That means she isn't allowed to eat as much, if we want her to stay healthy. We're in the "easy" phase, as some people put it. We're not into the thick of things, because she isn't mobile. At least we have control at home.

Then, there's school, daycare, grandparents, sleepovers, etc... to worry about. Food seeking becomes a tremendous battle. These kids are ingenious when it comes to sneaking in food. I've heard crazy stories, and I've met amazing parents who persevere, who fight for their children because their lives depend on that fight. It's not improbable that we will have to cut ties to people who can't or won't change their views on food, and its availability around a house, and its proliferation around every holiday. Holidays for me are more about the people, than about food. I don't know how we became a nation so food obsessed.

I don't know what the journey ahead will bring. I suspect, it will entail a lot of tears, fights, begging, pleading, lying, sneaking from Ellie, and perseverance from our end. Who knows if she will be able to comprehend consequences, but we've started with routine, with structure, and we're going to do everything we can to make it work. I am fully committed to ensuring Ellie never gets fat, and I have no problem saying never. I know it's not happening. You can hold me to that.

I can't tell anyone what to do with their child. I care about all children, about their health, because they are our future. But, it's not my place to judge their parents, or tell them how to raise their kids, just as it isn't their place to tell me what to do. We are all, I hope, doing the best we can for our children, PWS or not.

Live with Intention

There is something special about the days you have at home, once you've become what I call a "Hospital Family". We have spent so many days, weeks, months, in hospital, missing out on daily life, on routine, on sacred family moments, that when we're home, even if it isn't for very long, we make the most of every waking second. We're more patient, we're more kind, quicker to forgive, and more giving with our love. We know how blessed we are for every moment we get to have as a family, at home.

Time together is something people so often take for granted. People spend their time "together", in the same physical space, but so disconnected from each other, as one person watches tv, the other is on the computer, one kid is playing something and the baby sleeps. You don't know how much you miss when you can count on being "together" every day. You miss so many moments, thinking you've got time, you'll get to it later. You miss so many special times that make your heart skip a beat, and your breath catch.

I spent every moment today with my children. From the moment Ellie woke up, to the moment J went to sleep. I was there, I was present, I was focused on them. Because of this, I watched as J snuggled Ellie on the couch, lovingly wrapping an arm around her. I watched her reach out and pet his head, and saw the smile on his face as it tickled. I saw J catch bugs for his bug house, and argue with his father about bringing them inside the house. I put Ellie on the lawn, and for the first time she felt grass. I witnessed some of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen Ellie give. And today, it felt like my heart grew into a size I didn't know existed.

Ellie's favourite place in the house is by a window (any window!)

Ellie love J more than anyone else

And, lucky for all of us, he loves her just as much!

There are never any guarantees in life. Anything could happen before the sun rises on tomorrow. Tonight, I go to sleep knowing that I lived every moment of today with love, and with intention.

Thursday, April 5, 2012



We didn't make a fuss, this time, in leaving the hospital. I signed the papers, packed her things and we left. Ellie just ate, so we didn't have to worry about bipap for the car. She is so happy. She is just beaming at me, at J, at everything.
We are stuck in long weekend rush hour traffic, but that's not too bad. We have absolutely no plans, other than to enjoy the glorious sunshine and revel in Ellie's presence at home.
We have all nights this month filled, since they owed us time for when she was in the hospital. We have this Sunday on our own, but that is doable.
On her discharge papers, they said her diagnosis was an ALTE. Apparent life-threatening event. Our discharging doctor said it sounds scary, but they see lots and lots of kids admitted for the same reason.
At least we did the right thing. We took her in when we needed to, and now she is home :)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Kitchen Helper

I have a carpenter friend who is very handy, and said he would make this: for J!!

 My little guy has fallen off chairs so very many times, trying to "help" in the kitchen. I've had my eye on one of these for a long, long time, and it finally clicked to ask if my friend could make one!

We have a ton of paint leftover from random projects, and from when we first moved in and painted everything, so I am going to get it unfinished, and do that part myself. Undecided on colour, it's likely to be the kids' bathroom colour, which is called Pool Party, by BM.

I am excited!

Is it tomorrow yet??

I can't wait for tomorrow. Mostly because Ellie's coming home, but also because I've reached my daily whine limit, and I'm ready for today to be over.

I'm not sure how three year olds can be so grating on the nerves. I'm usually full of patience, but tonight I've had to repeat the same knock-knock joke seven hundred times, and it wasn't even funny to start with. That, and I'm being told over and over again "I want to snuggle you", which is really code for "I want to be on the computer with you, and I don't want to sleep in my 96+66666666666666663 own room"

Case and point. Thank. you, little man.0.

Please let it be tomorrow.

My heart's biggest loves


Today, the doorbell rang, and a delivery person was at my front door with the most beautiful flower delivery, for me! I've had the honour of participating in a mommy group, since the beginning of my pregnancy with Ellie, and we were all due in June. They've been so fantastic through all our ups and downs this year, and the flowers are just amazing.

The card read "Once you choose hope, anything's possible" -Christopher Reeve. Thinking of you, Ellie and your family often. Lots of love, your June 2011 Mama friends.

Love the flowers, not near as much as I love the ladies who sent them! <3

Where does the time go?

J and I had a sleep-in morning. Our last, since Ellie is coming home tomorrow (!!!!) and I know tonight I will be too excited to sleep properly.
We are watching the Curious George movie, and J told me "you can't snuggle me, Mommy! I am not a baby anymore" sigh. He's right! He is huge.
He promised to snuggle Ellie when she is home. I can't wait :)

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Ellie has lost a fair amount of weight since her discharge home on the 21st. Back then, she weighed 5.99kg, and today, she was 5.67kg. In pounds, that translates to 13lbs3oz before, and 12lbs8oz now. 11 ouces lost seems considerable, but Dr. Dee was happy because now Ellie's in the right range weight-for-length. She seems to have lengthened out, a lot! No measurements in a couple weeks, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's more than a centimeter this time around!

We arranged nurses for Thursday, so it seems like everything is falling into place. I am happy, and so looking forward to having her come home.

I just went on a date with J, to the sushi restaurant. He ordered, we giggled, and ate until we were stuffed. When we walked home, we saw the most beautiful rainbow.

Vintage Ideas

I spent this morning puttering around the house. If Ellie is coming home this week, I want to get as much done as possible before then. I finished the curtains for the kitchen, and hung up the valances. All that's missing in there now is the counter tops and maybe a vinyl decal for the wall, but I am having a hard time finding one that I love.
Next, I want to tidy the laundry room, and organize all my cleaning things. I also need to clear out the pantry, it is a bit of a disaster.
It is rather ridiculous that we have been working so diligently to get the house ready for sale, we should have done all these things eons ago! But, maybe if we sell our place, we will do all this again in the new place!
I can't believe we are already into April. I mean, really! Where is the time going?
Easter was late last year, but my heart feels funny thinking that it is almost Good Friday, Ellie was born on a Good Friday!
Dr. Dee said Ellie shouldn't be exposed to too many people until the summer, when it is less likely she will get sick again. That means limiting her exposure to other kids especially, so this weekend will be interesting. DH has a big family, with lots of cousins all coming to celebrate Easter together.
I have been seriously debating the topic of Ellie's birthday party. I waffle! I so badly want to have a big celebration, where anyone who wants to come can come, but I can't do that AND protect her from gettin sick at the same time. Realistically, I will likely keep this party tiny, and then have a big party in the summer. That doesn't actually sound so bad, since I started looking into vintage themed parties and found a ton of ideas that I really like!
The photos that Ali took are so Ellie, the vintage style ones.
Eek, just thinking about being able to design another nursery for her makes me so excited. I love her current room, but i didn't really know her when I came up with the design. Now, her personality has blossomed and I do know her, so well.
A vintage party, with pretty tea cups, cake stands, decorations hanging from the trees, ah, it will be awesome. I am so ready for summer!
Hmmm... I wonder if you can bake cupcakes in teacups? Anyone know? I wonder if they could stand the heat... I know you can bake them in mason jars.
It would be adorable to make individual cakes, iced in the cup, served with a spoon to keep fingers clean! I could start collecting cups and saucers from the thrift shop now!
Monogrammed handkerchiefs as favors? Too many ideas!

Monday, April 2, 2012

Photos from my ipod!

Ellie likes the "see yourself" function

And also my silly faces :)

She's so pretty <3

So serious!

Can you see her curls?!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Sunday Night

Bliss is coming "home" to a little girl who smiles at the sight of your face. Being told that she saves her biggest smiles just for you, and getting to hear her beautiful, angelic babbles. She is feeling so much better today, I can feel we are close to going home. For real, this time.

I am grateful for all the incredible people I have met over months we've been here. I can't believe it is April 1st. APRIL. I knew, back in December, that it was very likely we would be at the hospital until E's birthday. I can't believe it's been that long, what a journey.

Yesterday was my one year anniversary of being admitted to Women's for the duration of my pregnancy. In the last 365 days, we've spent 186 days at the hospital. Almost exactly 50% of the year, six months. I have friends who have been here a lot longer, and I've heard of children being here, in the ICU, for years. 

In the grand scheme of things, it really isn`t so bad. We have E`s whole life ahead of us, a whole life of time to experience new things, to show her the world outside of these walls.

DH and I are so blessed to have our littles.

Someone's feeling better

I've just had the loveliest afternoon! The ladies in our townhouse complex got together to thow my neighbour and I a delayed baby shower! We both had our babies last year. In the three years we have lived here, we have never done anything as a community. I barely have time to say "Hello", let alone visit, but today everything changed.
Everyone was so nice, and we had the opportunity to meet the new families that have moved in over the course of the past year. They showered Ellie with gifts, despite her marked absence. There was so much food (I definitely overate), and I felt so blessed to be surrounded by such caring people.
Little did I know, that I've been participating in a Mommy/Baby group online, that is primarily run by my neighbour! Can you believe that? When Ellie comes home, I fully intend to start actively participating in meet ups and Wine and Whine nights.
I haven't seen my girl since Saturday, so I'm going to head in to see her. It's been long enough, and I've heard she's been moved to a room with a view!