She Will Amaze You

On Sunday, Ellie will have spent 150 days in hospital, all by herself. I remember when we hit 100 days between the two of us combined. That seemed such a huge number, and now that she's at 150, I can't help but feel defeated.

I try so hard to be positive, to be optimistic. I know that Ellie's time in hospital is coming to an end, and hopefully she won't have to go back for any more than the occasional sleep study. Despite that, I've lost track of the number of times they've said she's all ready to go home, and then we have a set back.

I try to remember how very lucky we are that Ellie isn't sick. We are so lucky. I feel pathetic complaining about our situation, when we have friends whose children are very ill, whose futures are uncertain.

I spent two beautiful hours with Ellie this afternoon. I fed her, changed her, and we lay on the floor and giggled. She is incredible. I miss her so very much.