10:21am

I feel like a zombie. I went up to Second Cup, got a breakfast sandwich I could barely eat, and a large coffee. One of my favourite nurses was in the lineup, I don't think I registered anything until she started talking to me, and I zoned back into reality.

I caught Dr. D on my way back in. We talked. Ellie's issue yesterday could have been caused by a great many things. At the top of her worry list: seizure, so neurology is coming; heart, so they're doing another echo-cardiogram; and growth-hormone related airway obstruction. Three big ones. I hope it's none of them. I hope it's just a bug. But, if it's just a bug, is this going to happen every time she gets sick?

We're in "jail" as Dr. D put it, for 48-72 hours. She knows Ellie so well, that I trust her completely. She knows that kids have the ability to override their sickness when they're in a stimulating environment, and here, in Ellie's home away from home, she is definitely used to stimulation, lots of it. As Dr. D pointed out, Ellie does a 4 day great streak, followed by a day of feeling off, and then back to feeling great again. Today is still an off day, so she wants to see what happens tomorrow, and the next day.

Jason is taking work off today, and likely tomorrow as well.

I don't normally cry. I'm normally very good at controlling that, since crying doesn't make me feel better. I haven't been able to contain my emotions. I cried in the lunch room, I cried in the hallway, I cried in the bathroom. I can't get the image of her, all ashen grey and unresponsive, out of my head.