Care by Parent

This makes more sense than posting a new entry every time Ellie needs tending to, will also be easier for me to process in the morning:

8:10pm
Start BiPAP

8:25pm
Sneezes, sneezes, and a mask readjust.

9:15pm
Silent mask shift, desat, alarm rang off, repositioned mask.

9:46pm
Ellie shifted, the mask went up over her nose, she panicked. I was there, I readjusted the mask, she opened one eye, looked at me and giggled. She is happy I'm here. I am not happy with the current rate of re-adjusting required.

9:55pm
Turned her head, the mask shifted completely off her face.

10:17pm
Swatting at her mask, and panicking. She shakes all over when she panics, and now I'm wondering if they are seizures. They can't be seizures...

11:00pm
I just fell asleep, and she shifted again. The whoosh of the leak is impossible to miss. I was worried that I wouldn't hear it through all the talking, the beeping, the hiss of the blow-by. She is so happy I am here, she just grabbed one of my braids and didn't want to let go, while beaming at me. Girl is supposed to be sleeping, not making me think about how much she's going to miss me when I am not here tomorrow night. Soul crush.

This is the time the nurse would normally come, so I am starting my count now... let's hope it goes better than the last three hours have.

11:17pm
Lame. I want to sleep.

12:03am
That was a big shift...

1:25am
I rather enjoyed that long break. Woke to alarm ringing, because the mask was on her eye. Her eye doesn't need to breathe. No idea how long it was like that, it was quiet.

1:34am
sleep is overrated. I am hungry.

3:38am
Wonder if a Woombie would stop Ellie from taking her mask off. She tries to rub her eyes, and the mask comes off. Sigh... one more shift in that blasted mask and I will reach the limit I said I could handle. I am going to be a wreck tomorrow.

3:51am
Does it count if I was still awake?

4:08am
Ok, I get it, she's not ready. Universe, could I please have three hours sleep, I promise to tell the doctors how she was until now. I could really use some sleep.

4:24am
feeling defeated.

5:48am
I am exhausted.

7am
And we're up for the day