Tuesday, May 17, 2011

May 17th

Today's our third wedding anniversary <3 I can't believe everything Jason and I have been through in the last three years, it's unreal.

Yesterday, I spent the day in the States, shopping with my mom. When we got home, Jason and I went to the hospital to see Ellie.

The day before, she was great, they were going to wean her from her oxygen, since she'd been at 5ccs for a long time. With that, she was supposed to be moved into an open air crib, since she's over 1800grams (or 4lbs). Then, she was supposed to have her head ultrasound, and we were going to start trying to breastfeed in earnest.

Well, we got there, and she's still in her incubator, with a toque on, lots of layers and blankets on. Still with the nasal cannula, sound asleep. I looked at the monitors, and they keep a record of the last 6 alarms. Five minutes before we got there, she desatted to 70, that sounded weird to me, and I saw that all the other desats were into the 70's as well, so I looked at her O2 setting, and it was up to 15ccs.

Sigh. Having a preemie is unbelievably stressful. You get so excited about a step forward, and then they take two steps back.

Turns out all day long she was desatting, with handling, with feeds, and just whenever, so they decided to increase the O2. Since they can't take her off the O2 at the moment, they can't give her the head ultrasound, so now they're talking about sending her back to Children's for an mri, if her blood gas tests come back abnormal. They're worried because she shouldn't be desatting like this, and she's NEVER awake. She opens her eyes for maybe five minutes a day, on bath days, other than that, she sleeps 24 hours a day. There are other babies in the nursery now, who are her size, and gestation (2 of them) and they cry, and they're awake, and they interact, and she doesn't.

I wasn't allowed to hold her yesterday, because of everything, so I'm hoping today I can.

This is so crappy.

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