For the life of me, I can't remember the topic of the post that I've been meaning to write. I've composed it in my head countless times, and when I sit down at the couch in front of my laptop, I draw a complete blank. Talk about frustrating!!
In any case, I'll write about something else that's been on my mind. Work!
I've been back at work, part-time, for the past five weeks. It is amazing. I LOVE working. I really didn't realize just how much I missed working until I was back at it. It feels incredible to use my brain, even though what I do isn't overly complicated, it does require thought. I can't believe that I was out of the workplace for four years. Four years went by in the blink of an eye. The years were full, but they passed quickly. Before I know it, I'm sure both kids will be graduating from high school!
I started my sewing business when Jakob was little, because I didn't want to miss anything. I wanted to be there for every important moment. What I didn't realize, was that I was giving up a huge part of myself to be able to see those moments. Don't get me wrong, it was great to be there when Jakob first rolled, crawled, proudly took his first steps. But, it was a lot harder being at home all the time than I thought it would be.
Being a stay at home mom is incredibly hard! There are plenty of happy moments, but there is also a lot of repetition (especially when you have a child who is a stickler for routine), a lot of cleaning, feeding, burping, snuggling, sleeping. Not a lot of self-care time, not a lot of time for anything other than being a mother. I don't know how I managed to be a work at home mom, but I know that I aged more quickly than I should have over the years, and the stress of having to run a business in addition to running our household was very taxing.
I've left the house five times this month to go to work. On those mornings, I get up early. I shower, spend time doing my hair, putting on make-up, choosing my outfit and accessories. I leave the house, after eating breakfast, and drive in to town, in peace and quiet. No one asks me five million times for me to show him the way, or a thousand times to tell him if we're there yet. I can listen to whatever I want, however loudly I would like. When I get to work, I can grab a coffee, and enjoy it while it's still hot. At work, I speak like an adult, and don't have to ask anyone if they need to go potty, to please not eat their boogers, or to please not jump on their sister. I don't have to pick up toys which are spread all over the house like a tornado flung them in every direction. I don't have to make three meals which may or may not get eaten, thrown on the floor, or spit out. I don't have to wash the floor three times a day. No, I get an HOUR at lunch, and I'm almost at a loss as to how to spend the whole, precious hour. I can savour my meal, look out the window, and daydream without being interrupted. I can enjoy a completely unbroken thought!
Before I had children, my days at work dragged on and on. I would watch the clock, waiting for 5 o'clock to come, so that I could go home to relax. Now, I enjoy every moment of being at work. When the work day comes to a close, I'm a little sad to have to go home, and I make the most of my quiet drive home.
I LOVE coming home, to children who miss me, who are happy to see me. On the days where I'm home, it sometimes seems like they couldn't care less about whether I was there or not. I'm just the provider of food and entertainment. I feel SO much more appreciated on the days where I've been out.
I don't know for certain, because I am not working full-time, but I'm pretty sure working outside of the home is WAY easier than staying at home!
An added bonus, is that now that our family days are fewer, we actually make the most of them, and have more fun when the four of us are together.
I am so, so glad that I'm back at work!
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