This is impossibly difficult. I woke up this morning, aching for Ellie. Mothers and their babies aren't meant to be separated. I was thinking of sneaking off to the hospital early this morning, but then Jakob woke up, and two minutes with him made me see how much it hurts him to have me gone. All he wants is to snuggle, and to know he is just as important as his little sister. How can I be in two places at once? He asked over and over why Ellie was at the hospital, why she wasn't at home when her crib looks just like the one at the hospital. Sigh.
I called the hospital to let them know I wouldn't be in until late morning. I hope that's okay, it always feels wrong to tell a nurse you've got other things to do than be at your child's bedside. Jakob and I are going to watch Pocahontas, have some breakfast, and figure out the rest of the day. He might be able to come with me to the hospital, which would be awesome, at least until he gets bored.
No comments:
Post a Comment