Times are changing

Times are changing in our household. My work contract is up at the end of this month, and while I thought it would be renewed, a government hiring freeze is in effect leading up to the Provincial election in May, so they're not renewing anyone.

I've been debating what to do. I LOVE working. I really like working outside of the home. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great for all the moms who like being SAHM, and WAHM, but it's just not for me. When I was running SusieCues, I barely had a moment to myself. I would design, shop, wash, iron, sew, package, send, every free minute I had away from Jakob. I barely slept, all I thought about was sewing. It totally took over every aspect of my life that didn't involve childrearing! When I got this job, it brought me back into the business world, and I didn't realize how much I'd missed it! I adore getting dressed in the morning, putting on my heels, doing my hair and makeup, and leaving the house to get work done. I work hard throughout the day, enjoy my adult conversations, and come home completely renewed and ready to spend quality time with my kids.

In this economy, finding another position equivalent to what I do now, that is as flexible to my complicated availability is difficult. There are times where Ellie gets sick, and I have to take time off to be with her. DH works rotating shifts, and we would rather not have to hire a nanny. The position I have now is completely my dream job. But, all good things come to an end.

So, for the next couple of months it seems I'm going to be unemployed. I'm nervous. Nervous, not about the lack of money, but that I might burn out as a SAHM. I'm trying to focus on the fact that Ellie NEEDS more socialization, and she needs more stimulation. She's been holed up in our house for the past year, while we've tried to keep her out of hospital. We rarely do play dates (although she loves them) because of my schedule. Jakob could do with more socialization, too.

I'm hoping that as soon as the hiring freeze is lifted, I will be rehired into a similar position, so really this is only a temporary situation. A couple months to plan a lot of play dates, take Ellie to playgroup, to recreate all the fun sensory games I played with Jakob when he was little, to live in the moment and work on building up my patience.

I can do this.