I made A Kitchen Addiction's Pumpkin Bread with Salted Caramel Drizzled Pumpkin Buttercream. It's really good. You should come have a piece! Save me from myself, I am going to eat the whole thing. Jakob said it was the best cake he had ever had, and that it tasted like pumpkin pie (his favourite).

I am in a funk. The bad kind.

I'm not sure what my problem is, but everything makes me so emotional, I must have cried half a dozen times today. I don't normally cry at anything. I am having an extremely hard time leaving Ellie at the hospital, and I've had my husband drop her off to save me from having to walk away from her. I feel completely gutted at the separation. I just want to strap her to me and run away somewhere.
That's probably why I'm so upset.

Jakob is my angel, he is such a sweetheart. Last night, we were snuggling in my bed and he told me "Don't worry Mommy, I'll look after you when you're older and have problems". I laughed out loud, and asked him what kind of problems I was going to have. He answered "BIG ones!! But don't worry, they're all in your head". My three and a half year old said that to me! He says the funniest things.

I was feeling down, so I baked. I love to bake, but then it reminds me that I won't be able to do that when Ellie's older, and then I feel even worse.

Honestly, I've been doing SO well, and I've been so pumped up about our walk, and all of Ellie's tremendous progress, and it feels like I could keep carrying on, doing well, when *WHAM* I slam into a brick wall, and everything falls apart.

I made A Kitchen Addiction's Pumpkin Bread with Salted Caramel Drizzled Pumpkin Buttercream. It's really good. You should come have a piece! Save me from myself, I am going to eat the whole thing. Jakob said it was the best cake he had ever had, and that it tasted like pumpkin pie (his favourite).

I've cleaned the kitchen, and done all our laundry. I clean when I'm upset, for whatever reason it makes me feel better. Well, I was listening to the radio (country), and Taylor Swift's new song Ronan, came on. Oh, my word! What a sad, sad, sad song. I was bawling. I didn`t realize it was a true story, and hearing the back story, and finding Maya Thompson`s blog Rockstar Ronan had me sobbing. Jakob is looking at me like I`m a lunatic, and doesn`t understand why I keep hugging him. 

Sigh.