She Will Amaze You

Why does feeding have to be such a battle?

70mls...it really isn't a lot. Just over 2 ounces. But, Ellie struggles day in, day out to finish each meal.

I fed my niece a 2 ounce "snack" this evening. She guzzled it in under 5 minutes. No cheek support, no chin support, no frequent burping to keep her awake, no 45 minute torture as I beg her to just take 5 more mls...

I live in a world of self-constructed ignorance. I spend as much time as possible away from home when my husband works, because I need a distraction. I can't think about Ellie and where she is at; it destroys me.
My niece is six weeks younger than Ellie, but two weeks older, gestationally. I think reality hits hardest when they are together. My niece is advanced, she is huge, she eats like you wouldn't believe, she is alert, she smiles, she coos and she cries.
Ellie sleeps, has periods of quite alertness, has trouble eating and goes back to sleep. She doesn't gain properly, she is so floppy, she rarely makes good eye contact.
I KNOW I should not compare them. But, it is impossible; especially when people don't know that Ellie probably has a genetic defect, they judge, they compare. Ellie isn't normal.
At least she is pretty. Every single person who has seen her, friends and strangers alike, have commented on how pretty she is. And, she really is.