Dear Ellie

Ellie,

Tonight, one week from your second birthday,  you gave me the rare privilege of rocking you to sleep. Still so small, the weight of you in my arms was no burden at all, and I would gladly rock you through the night. You are sleeping so soundly on my shoulder,  one fist clenched in my hair. I am in heaven.

We have been through so much, you and I, over these two years. There have been too many nights where we were apart,  so many countless nights that we will never get back. I am grateful,  so grateful for how long I've been blessed to have you be little. It seems as though the Universe wanted to make our many separations up to me, by giving me moments like tonight,  where you are still so much my little baby.

I marvel at the progress you've made, but moreover wonder at the amazing personality you have developed. You are, quite simply,  the greatest joy. You are so full of love, you give affection to those who need it, be they strangers or family. You smiled at the glum elderly woman on the other side of the store and waved hello, as every part of her perked up and she beamed at you today. Your giggles, though rare, are truly infectious, and the music of my heart.

You are stubborn and determined,  and that will get you far in life. You know what you want, and you work so, so hard to get it.

You are clever, we can't slip anything by you! The pace at which you learn new skills astounds me. 

You are so compassionate and empathetic, already! You cry when someone is hurt, and you give the biggest tiny-girl hugs. You laugh when others are happy, and you are so in tune with their emotions.

I can't believe you're soon to be two. It can't possibly have been so long since the first moment I laid eyes on your little face. 

If only I had known how much you would inspire me, teach me, impress me, amaze me! I could have saved myself the needless heartache when we were told that you were different. 

You are different. You are incredibly,  perfectly you, and I wouldn't change a single thing about you. 

I love you,

Mommy